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Alex Moony

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[11 Aug 2008|12:23pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

It's so interesting, this whole idea of constantly comparing oneself to those around him, competing with those around him, fearing that he won't be good enough, and gaining his self-worth, or lack thereof, from all of these instances. when you're a child none of these things matter. well, they didn't to me atleast. i distinctly remember having a passion for drawing anything in sight, writing anything i thought, singing anything i heard - all for the sake and desire of enjoying myself and maybe even developing myself. but now when i begin to do any of those things my thoughts always turn to - 'well, i'm not very good at it. i might as well stop and do something i'm better at'. where did this 'don't follow through unless you're the best' originate? it's the institutions we have built that encourage this thinking. social constructs, while denying it endlessly, instill a sense of urgency into growing adolescents that require one to be the best at something, and if they're not the best then they're not really worth much. it plays a role in prizes, in auditions, in grades when you're young. in college admissions when you're a bit older. in job interviews when you're even older. what happened to getting something just for participation and effort? i remember being younger and going to my friends birthday parties excited to recieve my 'consolation gift' - a present that the birthday kid's parents bought for each of the guests as a reward simply for being a friend. while first i thought that these rewards were fair and good as they made no one feel left out - i began to develop a sense of cynicism for it - why, even as children, did i envy the birthday girl/boy and need something to make me feel equal to them?

i will stop.
from now.
life is not about comparing.
life is about...doing.

On the street where you live.

[10 Nov 2005|02:04am]
My gosh, wouldn't it be funny slash embarassing if someone read this journal now? What a silly little girl I was back then!

Am exhausted turning everything into 'Friends' posts.
3 bitten spoons| On the street where you live.

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